Well, here it is December and I still don’t have the appetite to blog much of anything. I mean it comes and goes but when I have time to actually sit down to write something, the feeling leaves quickly. So here is a slapdash blog post; crap put together that makes no sense and has no rhyme or reason. This is what has been happening in Moxie Beautiful’s world.
Slapdash Blog Post
My birthday is coming up. I’ll be 50. I do plan to do a video about it, so stay tuned.
I still have smouldering concerns from the outcome of the Presidential election and perhaps soon I can articulate them here. Or at least take one issue at a time to address.
The year is coming to an end, this always depresses me in some way. The end of one year and the beginning of a new. I always get pissy and depressed this time of year, right after Christmas and again right after the New Year.
In fact, I just came out of a black hole after Thanksgiving. I have come to believe I am a woman of habit and need routine in my life. As much as I hate routine and schedules, I definitely need discipline in my life. Whenever I get off track, I usually go downhill fast.
Here is an example, the Thanksgiving schedule of my local CrossFit box sent me into a downward spiral. I knew it was coming too, and obviously I did not prepare well enough in advance. Which is why I need bumper plates for my empty barbell that is sitting in the garage right now. So that when they close for holiday hours I can still get my workout in.
Speaking of CrossFit, earlier in the year I had thought about getting my Level 1 certification. Then, of course, I have already talked myself out of it. Except now, the thought is creeping back in. I really do love CrossFit. It wouldn’t hurt to get the Level 1 certification that’s for sure so maybe I will give it a try after all. It would be later in 2017 before I could do it.
It is going to be weird to wake up on Christmas morning to an empty house. This will be the first Christmas without the kids here. They are all out there on their own now and we are empty-nesters. Maybe next year I won’t be working retail and we can take a trip somewhere during Christmas and be out of town!
I was doing some YouTube videos but stopped for whatever reason. I wish I knew why but I can’t tell you why. I’ll start back soon. I just haven’t felt the desire to do a lot of social media lately. It feels selfish and self-promotional. And what exactly am I promoting anyway? I am going through that social-media-feels-silly-to-me-right-now phase again. It will pass and I’ll be back to it in no time.
The truth is, I don’t feel like I have a purpose with any of this nonsense. I mean with blogging and social media. What is my message? Who is my audience? Why am I doing this?
Yes, I even thought about letting this domain expire to start another blog. An anonymous blog but decided against it. Why? What am I afraid of that I can’t just blog here, my true and authentic opinions?
And another thing, I think my birthday has really gotten in my head, in a bad way. In the beginning of the year and even during the middle of the year, I was excited to turn 50. I was looking forward to it. But now that it is on my doorstep and it’s the BIG 5-0, it has me thinking about what I have done with my life. Pretty much nothing. I have built nothing. I have done nothing significant. I know it sounds egotistical and I’m sorry. And I don’t know where this idea came from that when one hits a certain age one should have established a certain status in life. Or maybe it’s that I hate the thought of being “just ordinary.”
I don’t know, I just want my birthday to come and go without fanfare so I can move on.